what can i see

I see myself looking tired. I see my legs could be longer. I see my children growing taller. I see my pile of ironing getting higher. I see the weather man is forecasting more rain. I see the lawn needs cutting and the car needs washing. I see my bank balance dwindling away.

I see no reason to be complaining.

Hairy toes and cabbages

When a good friend of mine told me that sprouts were undeveloped cabbages i had it in mind that limes were undeveloped pineapples. When the hairs on my toes get so long i can tie them into ribbons i will snip them off.
Crazy thoughts that make me smile also keep the laughter lines long. Although i would rather the laughter lines than the hairy toes.....

What it is to be me.....

My thoughts rush around my head like a disturbed ants nest, smashing into each other and treading heavily on my heart. The sadness of the silence keeps me craving for noise, a distraction from the truth. When all is good its very good but a moment of sadness breaks me like a piece of unloved china.
My children keep me from running away, they give me a sence of purpose. I look at them and feel overwhelmingly proud. My need for a family brought me to were i am now in my life. It was an unconvertional journey with some times too many regrets and resentments that kept me from flying as high as i could have.
My strength came from wanting to always do my best, my weakness was my lack of self worth. The two continuously battling against each other and creating a wall of self protection. Allowing no-0ne to see my true emotions and giving nothing away.
So how do i now find the strength to be gentle and soften? How do i learn to give and share, what i have always held on so tightly too? How do you learn to trust?